The start

What a rainy day it was the heavens just opened and had no intention of stopping.My life was just beginning I was having the time of my life, fulfilling all my dreams not anything to worry about. I was sitting in my bedroom looking out the window wondering what was missing from my life couldn't figure it out. I was getting frustrated when I realized what it was missing, the only thing that I needed or ever dreamt of was I wanted to feel loved and cared for, which is a hard thing to find it tends to find you!!!
I decided many years ago I was not going to involve myself or give my heart to anyone. Nobody could be trusted in safekeeping my heart, I’d always been too trusting of people and made lots of sacrifices, even when it was not my desire to !!! I was there for everyone who was involved in my world, now it was my turn to feel free and find myself and what I needed!!! I had just finished work and sat in my bedroom for some peace, listening to shakira hips don’t lie, I started dancing round the room making a fool of myself but enjoying it making myself laugh, at making mistakes ha ha!!
My mobile started vibrating then stopped, I didn’t stop to think and look to see who was calling. I rang straight back to hear a voice I didn’t expect or know who it was, I then text to ask who it was calling me. He text me back with his name and a little about him, he became addictive and was crawling beneath my skin my heart was taken in hearing his voice he had such charm, I couldn’t keep away from the phone. This is where my whole life changed the story begins here..I was in my element, not a worry in the world financially, emotionally or even physically. Life was wonderful when I started receiving calls, well should I say call flashing from Timothy. It didn’t occur to me at the time how my mobile number was actually obtained, I was just loving the charm he was expressing on the phone, the voice was the most irresistible that you could ever imagine. Things are always different to how they appear and after weeks of chatting and enjoying each others company for hours on end, I was eager to meet the voice that constantly was saying he loved me!!! Timothy didn’t have a passport as he said he wasn’t ready to go travelling. He sent me some photos via the email, as I wanted to make sure I knew who I was meeting looked like, I asked what he did with himself, he replied studying psychology at Lagos university that he had completed three years of it still had one year to go, thus the reason for not thinking of travel.
He sent me an invitation letter via email as his fiancé, to take to the Nigerian high commission in London to obtain a visa. Well that took a lot of organizing, firstly we couldn’t download application forms, so Morgan, Catrionas partner at the time kindly offered to drive me to London. When we arrived it was a nightmare hard to describe, we obtained a ticket sat for hours waiting, then they decided they were closed. Morgan decided to demand an application form, they argued with him that you must download, he replied we were unable to and that we had sat for four hours in a queue and had been in traffic for three to be there on time. They agreed to give us form and told us we must come back to submit it, as it was too late that day, what a wasted and disappointing day. That depressed me it felt like obstacles were already beginning, I wasn’t going to be defeated I was feeling stubborn couldn’t let anything or anyone get in my way. Next morning I picked up my travellers cheques, that I needed to take with my forms to prove I could sustain myself whilst visiting Nigeria. Julie my friend said she would take me, yet again we arrived at the high commission, our friend Margaret met us there, we knew how it felt to be the ethnic minority!!! I got talking to a young Nigerian lady she asked are you going to work in Nigeria, I replied no that I was going to meet the love of my life she began to give me warnings and advice at the time, I thought she was trying to frighten me, so I choose to find out myself. My grandmother always advised me not to judge books by its cover, even though I probably was feeling a little cautious, I needed desperately to be with Timothy. We sat for another few hours, yes, to my relief they called my number yet it was only to make my payment for the visa, I had to sit back in the queue to apply and submit my application, another long wait !!! I was getting nervous and frustrated I couldn’t even speak to Timothy, as there wasn’t any reception and I was petrified that if I went outside to use the phone I would miss my turn.
At last my number was called my application was submitted yippee. I was so relieved couldn’t wait to phone Timothy, yes I was on my way. I had to return two days later which was Friday, I was so excited it was making me sick with nerves. I knew in a few days I’d be joining Timothy. I wasn’t sure if I was excited or scared, this was a new and out of character thing to do for me to do. Originally two of my friends were joining me, at the last minute they had changed their mind, I was disappointed and felt let down. Even after numerous warnings from everyone, including the travel agents I was stubborn wanted to find out for myself, we all tried to prebook a hotel alas we were unable to. So I had no other choice but to stay with Timothy until I could find suitable accommodation. I didn’t know what to expect and was in total shock and frightened when I did eventually arrive !!!
Going back to the travelling to such a far away place was nerve racking, I left home at 4.30am boarded the plane at 6.00am arrived Amsterdam. I felt comfortable with that I had flown there many times previously. There was a long wait to board the next flight, after a few hours wandering about at a loose end. My nerves got the better of me, I went looking for a flight to go back home, then I heard my flight number being called over the intercom. I must have been in a world of my own I found myself boarding the plane to Nigeria, I was terrified ,sweating my heart pounding etc I had no choice now I was on my way. Keeping in mind, that I had to let someone know that I was there so I would be safe, and had lots of funds with me, so I could find away home if need be.
I met some wonderful people on the plane, Helen was Nigerian and worked as a nurse in London. She was returning for a funeral saying she would never return there to live, that she loved living in the UK. She started to give me warnings and asked me for my phone number, so she could keep a check on me that I was safe. She seemed anxious and worried about me, that installed fear in me then I started to go in to panic mode. I could hardly breathe, my heart was pounding like mad, I must have passed out. Two hours later we were coming into the airport, wow it was so dark for that time of day, there was no air, it was very humid, funny smells, oh it was making me feel ill! We all went through imigration control, that must of taken 2 hours, they were so rude to everyone, welcome to Nigeria huh!!!
The next step was waiting for luggage I thought mine was never coming after listening to people saying how corrupt everyone here was, and that some of their luggage was damaged and missing. At last my humongous pink suitcase arrived, what a relief that was, now was the scary bit, oh my god was I scared I had to go outside to find Timothy, Someone I had never seen in the flesh before, I started to worry that he might not be the person on the photos. I was hanging about so rigidly outside the airport not knowing where to look, as people were approaching me from every angle, if not for money cigarette or do I need a driver I was so afraid. Then I felt this person grab me from the back it was Timothy. I didn’t recognize him from the photos, he was a lot older in person. He took me to a car which was waiting, with some of his friends. It was pouring with rain and dark, I didn’t have the foggiest what to expect here. I was with a car full of strangers, I had no other choice but to trust them. I tried to look around to see where I was going but couldn’t see very much, as the lighting and weather wouldn’t permit it. It was a bit of a rough ride, so I figured that the roads were not so good!!
After a while we arrived in Bariga where Timothy lived, I got out of the car it was so dark. I had to walk over this wooden ramp to go into the concrete building, I walked into a dark hallway and Timothy opened a door to the right of me. I was shocked that it wasn’t what I anticipated, it was one room. I started to panic as I looked round and saw that there was one bed, no blanket and wondered where I was going to sleep. Oh my god, did I feel vulnerable, I wanted to speak to my family and have a cigarette. Timothy took me to the top of the building roof, which later on became my haven. I felt the need to let someone know where I was, Timothy appeared to be really excited, repeatedly saying he couldn’t believe I was there, that god meant us to be together, that I was his angel it felt like a dream. We sat on the roof for hours chatting constantly with Timothy’s uncle for a while, when he left it began to rain so we both went back to the room. I was feeling embarrassed when I had to get in the bed, I covered myself with a towel for a blanket. Timothy made love to me, I felt like I was in heaven my embarrassment disappeared.
I woke up the next to pouring rain, dying to go for a wee asked Timothy where the toilet was. I had to go outside in the open space at back of the house, there were rows of like sheds, which were the toilets. I felt embarrassed to be greeted by a congregation of people there, I made Timothy wait outside the door for me, the remainder of that day we slept. The next day I had arranged that I wanted to go to the nearest embassy, to let them know I was there. Timothy arranged for someone to pick us up, we were going to Victoria island, he boiled some water for me to wash myself. I wasn’t prepared for it all, it was daylight I went to the roof for a few cigarettes, looking around at the world around me I didn’t know how to feel. I was shocked at the environment that I was in, totally not what I expected. I got a bit afraid, wondering what I was doing, had I lost my mind ? Then Timothy put his arms around me, I started to feel a little at ease listening to music coming from everywhere, the sound of children calling ouibo, white woman and waving to me and dancing for me, it was so sweet!!
I walked down the uneven concrete steps through a dark alley way, which I presume we’d call a hallway, to get to the front door. Outside was very bright and noisy, I walked across the ramp onto the roadway, and got in the car that was waiting. We were on our way to Victoria island, the roads were congested and it took a long time to cross the bridge. Alongside of the water, I saw little houses if you can call them that, people on little boats fishing ,the car was going slow as the roads were so congested. I was seeing things for the first time, beggars and a wide range of disabilities made me cry. I felt so grateful for my life then, westerners don’t know how lucky we are. We seem to take everything for granted I certainly will be more aware now. Timothy could see I was nervous, and tried to reassure me everything would be fine. We arrived in Victoria Island after a while we found the embassy, we had trouble with the getting the security to let us in, eventually they let me in alone which I thought was so unfair. After a long while sorting out my registration, I went outside to look for Timothy, I couldn’t see him and started panicking. I looked up and down the street, he was nowhere to be seen. Eventually I spotted him chatting with a group of people further down the road. I stood anxiously waving to him, I was surprised that it took him so long to spot me, considering was the only white person there ha ha!!!!
We met up again with Raphael who kindly drove us anywhere that we needed to go. He was a very gentle and kind man, he had a stammer speech impediment, what a lovely man he was, nothing was a problem for him willing to assist at all times. Fidelius Timothy’s uncle came almost everywhere with us, He idolized Timothy he appeared to be interested in being of assistance to me. Later, you will all see my sarcasm and understand everything when I've pieced it altogether. After two years am still trying to make sense of it how someone can be sucked like I was. All I ever wanted was to feel love, instead was shown hatred and bitterness toward me I don’t know why couldn’t see it coming till it was too late!!!!!
I have to stop waffling now and get on with this, the story needs to be told. Maybe I am avoiding the hurtful things, come on Kat that’s part of it, otherwise the story means nothing, look at me kicking some sense into myself ha-ha!!! Anyone would think am not of sound mind. Sorry news for you, I have doubted myself enough this last two years and even went as far as having mental health assessment what a relief wasn’t psycho haha!! I can even laugh at myself, anyway more to the point on with the story. Hang on need music, yeah food for the soul. Listening to Paul play, a song called Forever, and thought my heart will be bruised for that long!!!!!! There must be somebody there that can love and appreciate me, if I was such a bad person wouldn’t I find it difficult to fit in with this world, which is not for me considering what is passing for me without realizing I've coped outwardly at least.